This Slightly Less of a Bitch is Back
I found out today that a friend’s father had died suddenly. She and her father had just celebrated a big birthday with a trip to the super bowl. Her father was her best friend like most fathers are to their daughters. Sadly, this friend didn’t reach out to tell me the news – I heard it second hand. My friend only told about five close friends and I wasn’t one of them. The friend who told me is a mutual friend of ours. The three of us had completed two weeks of new hire training together in Vegas over eight years ago (side note: two weeks in Vegas is about ten days too long). We bonded during training instantly as I a shared a room with one of them and the other was next door. Our trio became known as “the fanny pack brigade” due to our silly antics which included ironically wearing a fanny pack to class and out to the bars (okay, I’m now realizing I should probably tell you more about our time in Vegas on another post).
One of the things that amazes me in life is what bonds you to someone. It’s never really the experiences one thinks it will be. I’ve lived in 13 cities so far and I know how to make friends. In fact, I could teach a course on how to make friends (seriously, I have a blog post I’m working on right now about how to make friends as an adult when you relocate). For example, I know that when you first move to a new city, the initial group of friends you make will not likely be the same group of friends you end up with in a new city. However, nothing bonds people like being thrown together for days on end, away from family and friends with certain “tasks” they have to accomplish. I mean, that’s really the premise of a handful of reality shows – it’s why people watch!
It’s now been eight years since that training and one of these two girls has become my closest confidant – we likely talk to each other more daily than we talk to anyone else. We both spend a lot of our day on the road for our job, so we pass the time chatting with one another. In fact, we have become so close that we now explore the world together, blog together, visit each other’s families…look, we are tight. Sadly, the other friend and I simply send a very occasional text and the annual Christmas card. On the other side of things, the two of them remain close. Close enough that my current friend was one of the five that heard the recent sad news.
I will herein admit that I haven’t been the world’s most amazing friend over the years. I’m not a horrible friend though I will say that I was selfish for a good part of my life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. I’m also quite a bit perfectionistic which makes my life very hard (I work on trying not to be constantly) and this forces me to judge others a bit too stringently. I don’t give a ton of chances either. Which is part of what happened in this case. Also, she isn’t good at picking up the phone and I’m not good at continuing to try and reach people who do not take my calls. But, that’s where my other friend shined – that and they still work together whilst I moved along to another company.
My point in all of this is that I am continuing to grow and change as a person. I’m aware that I haven’t always been a great friend to others and I’ve made a point now to change that. I am becoming more malleable. I try to bend and flow more. I do not give up so easily on others anymore (the irony here is I am an incredibly tenacious person otherwise). It’s funny, I paid a lot of money to re-do this blog when it accidently got offline and it’s been up again now for months. I haven’t put anything up yet because I couldn’t think of THE article to start with. Well, this seems like the right article because it makes me painfully aware that I’m not the same person I was before. I’ve grown and matured. I have become more aware of the fleeting lives we each live and thus, I want to be that person who not only lives their life to the fullest but tries to incorporate within it everyone they know and care about. Well, and I’m also almost 40 now and a bit more “adult” but more on that later.
So, welcome to my new blog. Same me, same adventures… just a little improved.
*Not one of the aforementioned friends but same Vegas trip.
